Not Enough
by Angeliss
Summary: Rosalie has a secret and it's tearing her and Emmett apart. How can they bridge the gap? Rated T for mention of Rosalie's back story and some mild language in the second chapter. NOW COMPLETE- and I mean it this time!
1. Rosalie

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

**Not Enough**

_Part One: Rosalie_

I was staring in the mirror again. There was no trace of tears, although there would have been plenty of them had I been human. So beautiful. I was so very breathtakingly beautiful. But beauty was somehow not enough.

I traced my outline against the cool of the mirror. No streaks. As a vampire, I could not leave fingerprints, because I produced no body liquid or oil. Just one more thing that separated me from the world I wanted to be a part of.

My reflection was just as unapproachable as I was. Cold, impersonal, distant, and somehow less. If you turned the mirror, the reflection would vanish as if it had never been. And maybe I was more like the reflection than I knew.

It had meant everything to me, the way I looked. But I had always thought that my beauty had been the key to my happiness. It seemed to have had the opposite effect. It had driven away the only chance of happiness I had.

So now I was locked in the only bathroom. Not that anyone needed it. I was the only who cared enough to use the mirror. Esme only had eyes for Carlisle, and never cared about how she looked except to make him happy. Maybe it would be different if there was another female in our family, but for now, this was my sanctuary, the place I could be alone to think.

What could I do about Emmett? I loved him. He loved me. And I couldn't bear to be near him. For a family with no secrets, I had one that was big enough to build a wall between us I wasn't sure could be torn down.

It had been only months since Emmett had been changed, though it felt like much longer. I saw the way his eyes followed me when I moved, and the way he relaxed when I came into the same room with him. He needed me just as much as I needed him. But I was too afraid, too proud and vain, to let him see the effort it took to let him even touch me.

Not that he ever touched me inappropriately. A hand on the shoulder, a brush of fingers against my back or my hair. That was all. And that was all that I could bear. For each and every touch reminded me of a different kind of touch, shadows of a darker memory Emmett had no idea existed.

I remembered, better than anyone, the last night of my human life. Edward classified the transformation as a human memory; I did not. My life had ended before the venom ever entered my body. It ended the night that my fiancée, Royce King, decided that he didn't have to wait for a wedding, or for my approval. I could still feel his hands, his mouth, touching me, soiling me, murdering me.

I never flinched when Emmett touched me, even when he managed to surprise me. It didn't affect me that way. But it was a shock when I turned to see Emmett's red eyes meeting mine instead of Royce's shockingly pale blue ones. And it hurt Emmett to read the fear was in my eyes, even though he hid it well.

Maybe I looked like the angel Emmett thought I was, but if he knew what had happened, if he knew what I had lost, knew I was not the angel he loved, he wouldn't love me anymore. How could he love me when I could do nothing more than hate myself?

My beauty was nothing more than a façade. There was nothing deeper, nothing more that made me unique different, lovable. Inside, I was nothing.

I did everything I could to make up for the horrible emptiness I felt. I made sure I always looked my best, and that I wore flattering clothes of the newest and the most expensive variety. Maybe if I appeared to have everything all together, I would somehow be whole again.

There was a knock on the bathroom door.

I gripped the edges of the sink, composing myself. "Yes?"

"Can I come in?"

It was Edward. I should have known that he would have heard what I was thinking. "No." I preferred to speak out loud to him, to treat him as though he was as normal as the rest of us.

"Rosalie…"

"You can't need the bathroom. So I don't see why you shouldn't wait for your turn." I knew that wasn't why he was there. Why did he have to intrude? Did he want to interfere in my personal life the way Carlisle had interfered with my death? Surely he knew that I would resent it just as much.

"I didn't ask to be able to hear what you are thinking. I can't help it. And I know you don't want advice."

"Then just go and leave me alone," I ordered, making my voice as cold and hard as my reflection.

Edward sighed. "I never spoke to you sooner because I thought you would work past it on your own. But you and Emmett are both hurting from this. He needs to know. You need to tell him."

"You don't know anything," I hissed from behind the doorway. "You can't know if that would help or hurt him more." I didn't want Emmett to know. I didn't want to see the look on his face when he turned away from me for the last time.

"Emmett loves you," Edward said softly. "He won't leave you. He needs you. You need to let him know. He'll be there for you, if you are willing to let him. I hear this, these thoughts you have, this conflict, every day, Rosalie. I probably know better than anyone here. Soon, you'll hurt him too badly for him to stay."

"Then you tell him!" I cried, anguished. "I can't, Edward. I can't do it. I can't make him live through my nightmares."

"Then let Emmett make them stay in the dark. You need him, too."

I sank down onto the edge of the bathtub. "I know," I whispered. "But I can't."

"You have to. And soon."

"Did you think I didn't tell him because I was too proud? Because I couldn't bear to see him lose his perfect image of me?" Edward was silent.

"You did, didn't you?" I laughed, and broke off the sound, aware of how hysterical it sounded. "But it isn't that at all. Every time I speak about it…" My voice gave out and I finished the thought mentally. _I bring out the nightmare again. If Emmett is hurting now, how much more do you think it will destroy him to hear my story?_

"He's strong in more ways than one, Rosalie."

"Then you tell him, because I can't."

Part of me hoped that he would. I was sincere in telling Edward that I didn't want to do it, that I couldn't. But part of me wondered how careful he would be about telling Emmett. I knew that Edward didn't exactly like me; he'd made that perfectly clear from the day that we met. And I didn't blame him.

"I won't tell Emmett," Edward said after a moment. "It's too important. I don't know if I could do it as gently as need be, not if you're worried about that."

I laughed again. "You have your faults, Edward, but a lack of tact is not one of them. And you can be very gentle."

"But perhaps Carlisle would be better." He wasn't denying that he could be tactful and gentle, and that knowledge hung in the silence between us. He was considering my reaction to the news I had given him.

"Perhaps," I whispered. And I closed my eyes, remembering the stinging sensation that tears caused before they flooded over.

After a while, Edward left, sensing that I wished to be alone. I wondered what he was going to do, and how Emmett was going to react. My stomach contorted into a painful knot. Maybe it was necessary for Emmett to know. But Edward's words were not as comforting as he had meant them to be. Because no one except Emmett knew how Emmett would react. And I feared the worst.


	2. Emmett

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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__Part Two: Emmett_

Rosalie was an angel. She had saved me from the bear, brought me to a new life that was more than I could have asked for. I enjoyed the speed, the strength, everything. I was happy. Almost.

The way she looked at me confused me. Sometimes, I thought she loved me, in the same way I had fallen for her. But then she would turn away, afraid of me. Maybe I didn't deserve her, and she knew it. Maybe I was a frightening monster to her, even after all of her reassurances that I wasn't. Sometimes I thought I caught a glimpse of disgust, and I knew then that I was not enough to hold her interest. I was too young, too uncontrolled. Both of us came from a time when the man was the leader in a relationship. But with us, it would not be that way, not with my eyes wild red and thirsty. And so now I kept my distance from her.

And now Edward was acting strange. I would catch him watching me, more carefully than before, something in his eyes that I couldn't identify. But maybe that was my imagination. After all, I needed a lot of watching.

Rosalie had assured me that I wouldn't always be like this, wanting human blood more than anything else. But a part of me was worried that she was wrong. And the other part was worried that she was right. Because once I no longer craved human blood with such intense need, I was worried that I wouldn't be able to live like this, without her returning my love. Because she was the guiding star of my life.

I ran back to the house from the woods outside. I couldn't go too far, not without being in danger of getting too close to a human. But I did have the freedom to leave the house, which was exactly what I needed.

When I got back, Edward was waiting for me, his arms folded, silent, just watching.

"What? Why do you keep staring?" I demanded.

"She hasn't told you yet," he said, his head slightly tilted to one side as he sized me up. He wasn't answering my question.

"Who hasn't told me what?"

Edward closed his eyes. "I told her that she needed to tell you. But she wanted me to do it."

Now my curiosity was raging. "What?" I demanded.

"Rosalie loves you."

That surprised me. I hadn't been expecting that. "Then why..." I trailed off. Why didn't she show it?

"I think that's why I need to talk with you." He looked uncomfortable. I had never seen Edward squirm so much.

"That's because I haven't felt so uncomfortable before," Edward muttered, in answer to my thoughts.

Uh oh. That couldn't be good. Had I done something?

"No, you haven't done anything wrong... Damn it, I can't do it. Go ask Rosalie."

He walked off into the house. I followed him.

"Wait, what?" I asked. What had just happened? Edward was going to tell me something important, and then he tells me to ask Rosalie. "Ask Rosalie what?" I didn't even know that much.

Edward turned to face me. "Rosalie asked me to tell you about her human past. Why she was changed. And I think she should be the one to tell you." His face was stony, unreadable. I knew when he had that expression that something was wrong.

"But if she wants you to tell me, then just do it." I knew better than anyone that when Rosalie asked you to do something, you did it.

"Sounds simple doesn't it?" Edward sighed. "I told her Carlisle would be better... I hate being a go-between..."

Why wouldn't he just say it?

"Alright. Rosalie loves you. But she's afraid of being hurt, and afraid of hurting you by telling you." Edward pinched the bridge of his nose, and I recognized trouble. He never did that unless he was angry or upset, but my curiosity was too strong for me to walk away from this conversation now.

"She was engaged to be married. Her fiancée, and a few of his friends... took advantage of her one night and left her for dead. That's when Carlisle found her."

Everything made sense now. The fear, the way she shrugged away from me. I could feel the anger in my chest growing until it took over me. I swore, several times, very loudly. "Where is he? Edward, tell me where he is. I will kill them."

"Emmett," Edward said in a calming tone, but I ignored it.

"Tell me!" I demanded.

"Emmett, trust me, you can't kill them..."

"Because I'm a newborn? Is that why? I don't care about their blood. They destroyed her."

"No, Emmett, if you'd just let me..."

"If you aren't going to tell me where they are, then I'll find someone who will," I growled. And I shouldered past Edward and ran to Rosalie's bedroom, where she sat on the bed, her face turned away from me.

"Where are they?" I demanded.

She turned to look at me, and I saw the depths of pain in her eyes. I had never noticed before. Or I had, but I thought it had been disgust at me.

"'They', Emmett?" she said softly.

"The men who hurt you. Where are they? I want to kill them."

Suddenly Rosalie laughed, but it wasn't a happy laugh. Instead it was scornful and self degrading. "I thought that you were going to be angry with me, disappointed, somehow. But you're not. Edward was right after all..." Her eyes went distant and her tone musing.

"No, I'm not disappointed. I'm as angry as hell. Where are the bastards?"

"They're dead, Emmett. You think that I could have kept myself from killing them after what they did to me?"

"Oh." My anger abruptly dissipated. I was generally easygoing, and not much made me angry enough to lose control. But to have done that to Rosalie...

"I was just a newborn, but I killed them all. I fought back the urge to drink from them enough to make them suffer. Not one drop of blood was spilt. But it wasn't enough..."

"Rose," I said, and stopped. I had never called her that before. "Rosalie, why didn't you tell me what happened?"

Her eyes met mine. "I didn't want to see the look on your face when you walked away from me," she whispered. "I have never cared for someone so much, and I couldn't bear to lose you."

"Don't you know me?" I asked. "Haven't you seen how much I love you by now? I could never walk away."

She bit her lip before answering. "That's what Edward said. I always thought that I was somehow not enough. You may think that I saved you from the grizzly. But really, you saved me from drowning here in despair."

"Well, next time, you can come straight to me. You never have to worry about losing me again. None of this awkward stuff with Edward. You have me now."

A brief smile made her mouth twitch, and then it vanished, her eyes distant. "Rose," I said, "whatever happened to you, whatever you did or will ever do, it will never stop me from loving you. You know that, right?"

She glanced up at me. "What did you just call me?"

I shifted under her gaze. "I called you Rose."

Rosalie smiled fully now. "I like it."

A lock of hair drifted into her face, and I placed it back behind her ear and leaned closer. "You know what?" I whispered.

"What?"

"You're my Rose." And then I kissed the top of her head. "You will always be enough for me, Rose. Always."


	3. Epilogue

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

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__Epilogue_

Rosalie leaned in close as Emmett put his arm around her. They were watching the last of the leaves falling off of the trees nearest the house.

"Where do you suppose Carlisle will have us go to next?" Rosalie asked, her head leaning on Emmett's shoulder.

"No idea. I'd like to go somewhere where I don't have to stay inside all the time, though. Someplace where the sun doesn't shine so much."

"That would be nice. But being inside isn't so bad when I'm with you," she teased.

"I love you, Rose," he said, smiling down at her.

"And I love you, Emmett," Rosalie answered, and then the smiles faded away as they stared straight into each other's eyes, the world around them disappearing.

"Excuse me," Edward said, coming out onto the porch. Rosalie and Emmett broke their gaze to look at Edward, slightly disoriented as though they had traveled back to earth from somewhere very far in a short amount of time.

"Carlisle says we need to start packing today, because we're leaving for Washington State soon."

"Where in Washington?" Emmett asked.

"A little town called Hoquiam, on the western side of the Cascades. Clouds are a constant part of the atmosphere there." Edward grinned. "We'll be able to go outside during the day."

"Well, that's good," said Emmett. "Just what I was hoping for. But I claim the biggest bedroom. It's going to be a tight fit..."

Edward's eyes grew larger as Emmett talked, and Edward suddenly cut Emmett off and threw his hands up in the air. "I don't want to know, Emmett. And please keep your thoughts to yourself." He stalked off.

"He's so much fun to tease," Emmett said. Rosalie smiled, and they both sat there, just needing to be close.

"What were you thinking?" she asked.

"I was going to say it would be a tight fit for two people," Emmett said, "And then I realized that Carlisle and Esme would get the biggest bedroom anyway, so it didn't matter. I suppose I gave him a nice mental image with that one."

"Two people?" Rosalie asked, drawing back to stare at him.

Emmett sighed. "Okay, Rose, you need to stand up," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I need to stand up."

Rosalie looked at him, confused, but did as he'd asked her. "Now what?"

Emmett slid his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small case as he got on one knee. "There's something I wanted to ask you, Rosalie, and I needed to get rid of Edward to do it." Emmett cracked open the box and let her see the ring inside. "I love you, and I can't imagine spending eternity without you. Rosalie Lillian Hale, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?"

Rosalie's eyes went wide, staring at the ring, and she began breathing fast. "Emmett, I had no idea..."

"Say yes, Rosalie. Let's go to Washington as husband and wife."

She hesitated. "I love you, Emmett. But..."

"But what?" he pressed.

"But how could you want me, like that, after what they did to me?"

"Rosalie, what they did to you is your past. Don't make it your future. I can't explain it, I'm not eloquent like Edward, or gentle like Esme, or tactful like Carlisle. But I love you and no one else, and I will not be satisfied until you say yes to me."

Rosalie stared at his earnest, red eyes. How could she deny him? She loved him too much. With a deep breath, Rosalie said, "Yes. I will marry you."

And with that, Emmett placed the ring on her finger before sweeping her up in his arms and kissing her full on the mouth for the first time. After they broke apart, Rosalie laughed, free and happy, a sound like Emmett had never heard from her before.

It wasn't much. Emmett would only be able to give her half of her dreams. But for them, it would have to be enough. And Emmett was sure that he could be content with that. And from Rosalie's laughter on the breeze, it seemed like maybe she could be content with that, too.


End file.
